An Old Essay on Loneliness

Hello again, all. I know it has been ten days since I posted. To which I say, where does the time go? Frankly, I just didn't have anything to post and I really hate doing filler content for any of my projects. Anyway, I had plugged in a USB drive to back up all of my current work onto, and I noticed that it had a few old scribblings of mine. Mainly old essays from high school and I thought the one below was relevant because it was technically the first thing I ever wrote. If I'm not mistaken, this was from my freshman year and off of it, I started to think about poetry and from poetry to short stories, then from short stories to novels.

So, yeah, I figured it would be a nice piece of Kyle Atwood history, not that Kyle Atwood history is really relevant at this point, but as I'm sure you know, I enjoy looking back on my own work and I just find it interesting to see where I've come from in writing.

Loneliness: The Effect

A quote from the late Mother Teresa; “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.” The dictionary defines loneliness as “the state of being alone in solitary isolation, being without companions.” A human being’s existence, starts as a lonely one and ends as a lonely one. In addition to that we are all alone in our thoughts no one truly understands or experiences the joy and the sorrow quite like ourselves, or in other words everyone feels the same thing but in a different way. One can try and express this disease like state through literature, music, talking or drawing but they never come across exactly the same way.

Loneliness is a universal problem. Throughout decades, and generation after generation loneliness is depicted in all forms of art. Poets describe feelings of isolation, lacking support, lacking a much needed friend or even feeling that no one around them understands them. So in essence, lonely individuals need friendships, friends who would take notice of them, understand and relate to their miserable situation. However, lonely individuals are unable to achieve their needed friendship due to past experiences of being harshly rejected and abused; whether it be mentally or physically. From this, the lonely individual comes to believe that everyone he or she confronts will treat them in a rejecting manner. As a self established defense mechanism, the individual shuts out the rest of the world blocking out all who try to help them or mainly who try to harm them.

One may argue that an individual remains lonely because they choose to be or to not open up and learn more about the people around them, that after learning of the true good nature of most people they‘ll break their depressed state. But , when an individual has been treated with such carelessness and foolishness they become afraid, so the simplicity of just opening up is a lot more difficult then perceived. Fear is a strong factor in fortifying one’s self established defense mechanism. Also if the lonely individual were so happened to speak with someone, it does not mean they will feel excepted; if anything they will grow much more worried about how that person portrays them.

Normally lonely individuals feel like a misfit, or someone who doesn’t fit in with the crowd. Often there are questions such as “why don’t they accept me?” or the most common of them “what did I ever do to deserve this?”. The feeling of wanting to be ‘normal’ rather than standing out and then being rejected for it; is a common depressor in a lonely person’s mind. Loneliness can establish a want; not only to be excepted but to be praised, looked up to or even admired which can develop a stronger sense of failure in an individual’s mind.
Loneliness is a state of feeling left out or cut off. It is an unforgettable and regrettable, necessity that of which each and every life must endure whether it be for minutes at a time or years. It is the worst of feelings. It is the central and inevitable fact for human existence.

Before We Go

I hope the essay wasn't too terrible, certainly not a college essay I know.

Below I've shared my most recent vlog. I decided to take a different approach with my YouTube channel and just kind of condense everything down into one video, I also decide to have a rant about popular YouTubers, which I'm sure I'll probably regret later on down the road.

So, that's all, guys. As always.... stay rotten, everybody.