Grandpa died, or so I thought.
Turns out, he just ate some bad puffer fish and suffered its side effects. They buried him and everything, until security on the grounds heard screaming and thrashing from his grave. When they finally got him out, well-- looks like grandpa's dead now.
There once was a woman who smelled awfully bad. The kids all avoided her from blocks away, even her neighbors vacated their houses for fear of every time she stepped outside.
Margaret wasn't a bad person, she struggled a great deal in her life. Once she was pregnant by her husband, but her husband was shot dead while on the force. The stress was too much for her. Being two.months along, she had a miscarriage. When the procedure came that she needed to get her child out of her body, she asked the doctor to keep it for her and the doctor ubderstood, as odd of a request as that was. So he put the fetus into a small plastic vial and sent it and its mother home after a full recovery on her part.
Well, many years passed and Margaret passed away from a stroke. When the mortician noticed that her left ringfinger had been horribly discolored and reeked of rot, he decided to investigate. Forced to cut the ring off of the finger, he noticed that it had a bit of flesh leaking out of it. He obtained the necessary tools and broke open the ring. He discovers, inside, the rotting remains of Margaret's fetus. Smashed into the tight chambers of the ring. All these years she had found some way to keep the meat moist, but failed at keeping it fresh.
"Oh my God!" Said the coroner.
Then he spewed his lunch all over the tile floor,
