The Brook Horse Sneak Peek

Healing

They lay me down

In a field of daisies

And ask me to sleep.

They open my chest,

They pull out my heart,

My stomach, lungs, kidneys, and more

And hang them on a wire

To heal in the sun,

But the crows have come

And are eating away.

-2018-

Yes, The Brook Horse is indeed a poetry collection.

In the past, I have talked about writing poetry again and again. It is, after all, how I
started my journey.

There will be poems ranging from the year 2012, to current day.

The collection will range from free verse narratives to more traditional, emotion driven
poems.

Not only will this collection be another release, but also a look back at the evolution of
myself as a writer.

A Bit More Backstory

From the years 2010-2013 I wanted to be a musician. My passion started out driven by hard rock/metal groups such as Staind, Nine Inch Nails, Linkin Park, Metallica, Alice Cooper, etc. I eventually calmed down and became heavily inspired by Johnny Cash, Iron and Wine, and numerous other indie/acoustic groups. So you'll see a few of those songs that I have written strictly from the later years, in this collection as well. Ironically enough, the self-titled poem The Brook Horse, that will be in this collection, started out as a song that I tried to write two years ago (it turned into a poem, of course).

Anyway, anyone who has known me personally for the past six years knows that I was extremely passionate about my music. Well, I wasn't anymore. I had way too many major disappointments and music became a punishment to myself, wasting time on building so many things only to break them down moments later. Music also ruined many relationships for me and even began to twist my mind, a narcissistic twisting motion that inflated my ego and kept me from pursuing my future. As I said, music became a punishment.

That's when I wrote my first poem and then another, and another, then... many... MANY poems later, I wrote my first short story, then another, and then I wrote my first book, Never Forgive Me, Never Forget Me.

Don't get me wrong, I still absolutely love music it is one of my most favorite forms of art, but as a musician, I was just in a bad place.

The First Poem I Wrote

The first poem I ever wrote has been lost to time, unfortunately, but the earliest poem I do still have was not at all a full length poem. It was a tanka and, for those of you who don't know, a tanka is an ancient Japanese style of poetry that consists of five lines in a syllable pattern of 5-7-5-7-7. It is basically a longer version of a haiku (three lines in 5-7-5). This is still my favorite form of poetry, I have a thing with short and sweet and both tanka and haiku provide me with such a thing and I always feel extremely relieved and satisfied when finishing one of these poems. In fact, you'll see quite a bit of those in The Brook Horse. Anyway, I'm feeling gracious today and I'll give you guys another sneak peek at one of the tankas that will be in the collection. Again, this is the oldest poem I have written that I have managed to keep for six years.

This Curse

This anathema,

Pertinacious to ruin

The vestige of me.

I am not venerable,

I am obstreperous here.

-2012-

I'll admit, while I was writing this, I had this study packet for a Nathaniel Hawthorne book we were reading called The House of the Seven Gables and, as per usual with books from the 1800's, there was some words that sounded pretty but I had no idea what they meant. So I wanted to make a poem with the old way of speaking, I was blending antique English language with ancient Japanese style in hopes of making the poem sound more profound. It worked and it sparked my first dozen fans and I figured, "Hey, I'm pretty good at this and it made me feel good! I should start doing this more!".

Another confession, I had forgotten what most of these words meant and I had to Google them again to make sure this poem made enough sense, to not only publish, but also share on my blog.

Another quick note: I just love how the physical appearance of the poem presents itself when finished. Dumb, fun fact.

My Goal for the Collection

My goal is to have over 140 poems inside of this collection, some new and freshly written, others from the vault known as my memory box (and believe me, I have written more than 200 poems in my life, just never published them). Hell, as I write this blog post I'm even considering changing the name of the collection, but as of right now, I think The Brook Horse is a very fitting name, and that will become apparent as we grow closer to its release, and crystal clear when it is released. I'm also using this release as a way to, basically, re-brand and experiment with other mediums to pair alongside the release, more towards my YouTube channel.

As a bonus, I'll share one of my songs I wrote in 2010 (no it is not going into the collection, it's horrible).

Sadness the Addiction

Sadness is a sick addiction 

and loneliness is the needle 

I choose to stick into my veins.

Yeah,

Fill me up

Off we go

Time to die

Never was so bold.

Sadness the addiction

A dumbass little bitch

Sadness the addiction

I hope it'll make me rich.

Collapse my veins,

Collapse my heart,

And collapse my life.

Yeah,

Fill me up

Off we go

Time to die

Never was so bold

Sadness the addiction

A dumbass little bitch

Sadness the addiction

I hope it'll make me rich.

Conclusion

So I hope you guys enjoyed the poems and be on the lookout for more news regarding The Brook Horse. I am aiming to release the collection in two months, but that is not set in stone. AT THE VERY LATEST it will be four months from now. More on that later.

So, take care guys, and, as always, stay rotten, everybody.

My Writing Process

Alright, I'll admit it, I got this idea from another article on Google. But I thought it was a good idea because I think it's an interesting insight into my life. I'm narcissistic like that. Anyway, let's get on with it shall we?

Now, an ideal writing situation for me is when I am off of work early or just completely and my wife is at work, so that way I can focus solely on my writing.

Before

Before I sit down at my desk and begin punching my way through, seemingly, endless waves of paragraphs, I get a stack of movies or music (or click the fitting playlist on my media player) and clear off my work space. To be honest, lately, it's been movies that help keep me focused, they keep me involved with the setting of my book and give me a visual stimulant when I need to look away for a moment. So I'll pop the disc into some device and wait for the sounds to come, I then grab two water bottles (or pop if I'm feeling naughty), grab a small healthy, filling snack, and then I sit down.

During

Alright, I open Google docs and begin typing away. I use to use OpenOffice before, and Microsoft Word before that, but Word was too expensive and OpenOffice was too basic, Docs was just right for me. However, I do still use OpenOffice for formatting my books for Amazon because Docs doesn't do anything like that, from what I understand.

I use to write out a kind of road map for my novels, but I decided to quit doing that. It's more exciting for me when I let my characters take ME for the ride instead of me taking them. In fact, a lot of my favorite moments in my previous books were from unscripted events that I stuck into my stories. I mean, I know what I want to happen to the characters, I just don't know how it will happen. For instance, I want my main character Jimmy Bob to die, but how and why is the real meat and I love leaving that up to chance. This also makes the story seem more real to me, and I hope it does the same for my readers. Unfortunately, however, this method does involve a MASSIVE amount of doctoring before I send it off to my editor; often times, I lose patience and decide to pay my editor a doubled price to get a more in depth edit.

Another thing that I do is I'll give myself a set word goal before I go on my "lunch break", I also have a set word goal for the entire day and if I go way over that, I reward myself with a brownie or something. It's childish, and a little weird, but it works for me and I'm happy to do it, it also helps me organize better in my daily life.

I do also try to find time to record a video or two for my YouTube channel.

I usually take my break at the halfway point for my word goal or when my second movie, or third CD is finished.

I do not finish until either A: the stack of movies or CD's  has run out or B: I finish the story. Unfortunately, I can't keep working through a playlist, because each of my playlists are about sixteen hours long at least, and I have a life outside of work to keep up with, such as a day job and a wife.

The Lunch Break

I'll make myself something and either watch YouTube, Hulu, Netflix, do some research, or look up tips on how to improve my marketing strategy or my writing.

After

After I finish writing for the day, I save everything like three times, close out the windows and switch my computer off. I leave my office, sit on the couch and start up a video game. If my wife is home, I either eat dinner or start dinner, ask her if she wants to go out to see a movie, spend some time with her, or, if she wants to go to bed early, I'll go back to playing my video games, or even I'll sneak in some more writing before I go to sleep.

So this is, usually, how my day's off from the day job look. Yes, it is exhausting, and yes, it does bother me to see how little results I am getting for putting in this much effort. But my motto for 2018, is, in fact, "Keep your chin up. It could always be worse."

I hope this post gave you guys a little more insight about my writing life, and I hope it was somewhat interesting to you. I appreciate you reading the post.

Tell your friends and stay rotten, everybody!